GERRYMANDER

GERRYMANDER, v. To maintain the status quo by adjusting its borders.

When called to campaign,
The incumbent replied,
“Why hit the trail and pander?
It’s inhumane
To cant and deride.
I’d rather gerrymander.”

                                         Augustine McGill

CONGRESS

CONGRESS, n. A chimera having the hindquarters of a mule, the foreparts of an elephant, the head of a clown, and the hands of a thief. It is consequently unable to properly sit, stand, think, or keep its fingers out of the pockets of pensioners.